The Ankle Biter @ Quibbling.net

I love the holidays. Seriously. I really do think it’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I love Christmas trees and dreidels and choosing just the right gifts for the people who are important to me. I’ll be listening to Christmas music nearly non-stop until January 1. I’ll hang Christmas lights this week, and get out the pine and spiced plum scented candles. It’s time to set up the creche. I’ll probably be far more diligent about church attendance, because I love seeing churches decorated for Christmas. Maybe I’ll even bake Christmas goodies this year, if I can get over the oven-phobia caused by the birthday cake incident.

So Tom and I spent some time yesterday buying up some fresh Christmas tunes for our iPods. I highly recommend searching for “Christmas” in the iMixes to find out what other people are listening to. I also suggest Christmas Remixed, especially for those times when you need Christmas spirit plus a little energy- at the mall, on the trip home to see your family, when you’re decorating the house, etc. And for those times when you want to relax and enjoy your Christmas lights in peace, there’s the perennial favorite, A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I am expecting a very important call sometime this week, but I don’t know when. I expect it’ll be earlier rather than later, but I don’t really know. In the meantime, it feels like Christmas Eve, but 5 days long.

So, to distract myself (and you!), some links:

A hysterical Open Letter to Porn.

The students who sang with Pink Floyd want their back royalties. Mostly, I am amused by their teacher’s antics.

Joseph IMed this one to me: Who better to comment on electron fraud in Ukraine than a former Chicago judge?

Zach Braff engages in some drunk dialing in Australia. Hijinx ensue. UPDATE: For some reason, the story of this hilarious incident has been deleted from the page. But I have saved the text from my feed reader (muahaha) and can pass it on. I won’t post it because the Fox Searchlight lawyers will probably send me a C&D nastygram if I do.

What do you get for the DC driver who has everything, including a stunning case of Beltway-induced road rage? Road Rage Cards, of course!

Via Hidden City, a word of advice: If your uncle uses his hands to aid in carving the holiday turkey, just let him.

I just want you all to know, I am #5 in Google for the search “free booty”. I don’t know why.

Tomorrow, the cat and I will be packing into the car for the drive up to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving with my family. (Tom will be joining his family at his sister’s place in Minneapolis.) Guinness will eat his first turkey, we’ll all have triptophan coma, and my grandmother and aunt will likely try to get a jump on Christmas shopping right after dinner. My Uncle Brett, the only other member of the family to leave Pittsburgh on more than a temporary basis, will be there with his wife and kids. I’m excited about that, because our visits haven’t coincided since I moved down here.

In my family, Thanksgiving is like the big kickoff event for Christmas. My parents, aunts, and uncles draw names for the Christmas Eve gift exchange, Grandma starts bugging us about what we want for Christmas, and Pap-Pap shows us the latest bit of Christmas decoration-kitsch he has acquired. It probably sings and dances. Bonus points if it lights up.

The next day, my mom busts out the Christmas decorations and starts decking the halls hardcore while my dad figures out how to store Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge.

I’ll visit my best friend from high school, we’ll marvel at how much our lives have changed. And then on Saturday, Guinness and I will pack up again and head back home to DC, blasting Christmas carols through Gustav’s sound system all the way.

The Virginia Department of Taxation is still trying to defraud me out of back taxes. Twice as much money as before now, actually.

What they failed to calculate is that you can’t squeeze blood from a stone- it’s not like I can just pay them to get them off my back, and I’m just obstinate enough in my political principles that I don’t mind spending a lot of time and energy fighting back.

So I’m sending a bunch of paperwork to them today.

Wait until those bastards figure out they actually owe me $86.

Discoshaman of Postmodern Clog is in Ukraine and blogging the events going on there. Don’t miss it.

I’ll save my post about the historical importance of blogging for later.

When I go home for Thanksgiving this weekend, I’m thinking about buying a few pounds of chipped ham to bring back. I would invite everybody over to my place for chipped ham ‘n’ cheese sammiches, since by then we’d all be tired of turkey.

Those of you reading this who have some connection to Pittsburgh are already experiencing some mouth-watering, I’m sure. But the rest of you, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

So, what do you think? Sammiches and maybe some Christmas music at my place next weekend? I’ll settle on details if there’s interest…

On Friday, between me and my boss:

Boss: “These files don’t give me what I need! This is just a summary of the billing! I need the lot detail!”

Me: “The lot detail is right there in the same folder!”

Boss: “No, this is just a summary.”

Me: “I’m looking at a list of lots, [boss].”

Boss: “I only see a summary.”

Me: “Look for the file Billing_Lot_Detail_August_2004.”

Boss: “Oh, there it is.”

Me: “Yeah, all the files that say Billing_Lot_Detail are going to have the lot detail in them.”

Boss: “Oh. Well that makes sense.”

Yes, which explains why you didn’t think of it.

We’re doing potluck at work today for Thanksgiving. A couple of people even cooked. Everyone else ordered from some of the local restaurants- including one guy who walked across the street to get chicken from Popeye’s.

I got ambitious and decided to bring turkey in the crockpot. Problem is, I started it a little late, and so it won’t be done until 1 PM. Meanwhile, the skin still looks white and it’s been over 3 hours in the crockpot. I am nervous….